Parsha Va-Yishlah is chock full of symbolism and meaning that has been studied for centuries. Far greater minds than mine have analyzed this story, reflecting on its symbolism and meaning. Therefore I “wrestled” with my desire to write about the mysterious assailant that Jacob encounters on the eve of meeting his brother, Esau. What could I possibly add to the insightful rabbinic interpretations of our heritage? But “struggle” as I may, I’ll give it a try.
OK, I’m done with the cheesy puns now. You’re safe to read ahead….
On the eve of meeting Esau and his band of approaching 400 men, Jacob encounters a “stranger” with whom he wrestles until the break of dawn. After Jacob prevails and the stranger asks to be let go, Jacob demands a blessing from him. Initially, I found this demand so strange. Isn’t beating your assailant in a full on, throw-down fight enough? Why do you need a blessing? Especially when it’s coming from an enemy you’ve just battled with and who has physically harmed you!
Like many, I interpret the wrestling scene as Jacob’s inner struggle within himself. He struggles to confront his fears and suppress his urge to repeat old patterns and run away when he is faced with the threat of Esau. After a fitful night of inner turmoil, Jacob overcomes his “human tendency to avoid an unpleasant encounter” and instead acknowledges “the divine impulse in him (that) urges him to do the difficult but right thing” (Etz Chayim: Torah and Commentary). So what’s the deal with demanding a blessing from your enemy? How heartfelt would that blessing be?
Perhaps Jacob has a desperate need for a blessing that is a “marker”. As humans, we mark the milestones in our lives with ceremonies to announce that we are now somehow different: birthdays indicate we are a year older, graduations declare we have gained a certain amount of knowledge over time, a wedding announces we are no longer just a son or daughter, but now a husband or a wife. These milestone “markers” indicate we have changed. After the inner struggle Jacob has fought and won, he needs a marker to prove to himself (and the world) that he is somehow different. That he is no longer that weak, deceptive son of Isaac. That he has changed for the better. And what better way to prove you have changed than with the blessing of a new name and identity?
For most of us, we will fall short of being the best person we can be. Like Jacob, we will struggle to do what is right. We will endure times of difficulty and maybe make a few poor choices along the way. But when we prevail and overcome our shortcomings, we usually don’t get a name change or a new identity to prove we have changed. Many times all we get is a sense of inner peace knowing we have done the right thing and become a better version of ourselves. In truth, attaining that sense of inner peace is a blessing. And after striving so hard to be a better person, it’s a blessing we yearn for - and sometimes actually demand… just like Jacob.
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