November 27, 2011

Vayeitzei -- Unconditional Love

On Saturday, November 26, 2011, my brother Brad and I scattered the remains of my parents at Niagara Falls, as they requested.

More than anyone else, my mother taught me about unconditional love.

More than anyone else, my father taught me about conditional love.

Conditional love is what Jacob shows for God in Genesis 28:20. In effect, “God, if you really come through for me, then I’ll believe in you.”

Conditional love is what I gave my wife. “First, you do for me. Prove you love me, and then I will do for you.”

Conditional love is what someone like Jacob gives when he has been burned so many times that he hedges his bets. He lives in a world where no one is trustworthy.

Unconditional love is probably the hardest thing for a human to give, and it’s the most precious thing we can give each other.

Conditional love is what my dad gave me when he made clear his disapproval of many decisions I made.

Unconditional love is what my mom gave when she listened to me talk endlessly about myself.

More than anything, unconditional love is what my mom bequeathed me. She tried to give unconditional love to herself, and succeeded in fits and starts, but her journey was an inspiration to me.

I miss them both terribly.

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your heart. I echo your sentiments about our parents and 2 types of love. It was great to share the recent journey with you...and the adventure continues. Blessings this Holiday season.

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  2. Unconditional love is what you are demonstrating toward your parents, by scattering your dad's ashes, and by remembering them both with painful clarity.

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  3. Chuck,
    What you wrote was so honest and beautiful! You expressed hints of pain intertwined with feelings of loving devotion. That brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this.

    And Becky's response was so touching. Tissue, please....

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