November 8, 2011

Va-Yera -- God and the understudy god

I believe in God. The God who is the creative force of the universe. I see God as an impersonal watchmaker. God set the universe in motion, then stepped back and is not intimately involved in our personal lives. My God does not bargain over human lives, destroy cities for their wickedness, turn people into salt, or ask a man to kill his son.

This parshah (and much of the Torah) presents what I’d like to call an imposter god or an understudy god. Perhaps the true God was busy while much of the Torah was being written, and so the understudy god took his place (or more accurately and with less tongue-in-cheek, perhaps the Torah writers were either writing for a less sophisticated audience and/or writing from a less sophisticated perspective). This understudy god reminds me of a character in a play about the troubles of some quintessentially-typical-yet-unique Midwestern family. We meet the family in Act I, headed by Abraham, but beset by many troubles, as they invite some passing motorists to stop over at the farm for lunch. The quiet, calm start of our story only serves to heighten the tensions soon to come.

Cue the entrance of the understudy god, in the form of a troublesome uncle who appears out of nowhere early in Act I, and ends up causing all kinds of problems, as escalating conflicts are precipitated by the understudy god, including arguing with Abraham about saving lives and threatening to annihilate a city.

At the end of Act II of the three-act family drama-in-my-mind, Isaac is born. Abraham is beside himself with joy and disbelief. This crazy uncle seems to have strange and magical powers to bring both good and evil. More than anything, hidden deep in Abraham, is a dimly-grasped sense that his life is completely out of his control. Bad things happen for no reason. Then good things happen for no reason. The crazy uncle seems to suggest that he himself is the cause of all these events. Abraham ends Act II holding his son, watching the sunset, thinking to himself. He seems a little happy, and a little crazy.

In our final act, Abraham has what we call a “nervous breakdown.” He either takes his son up a mountain to kill him, or dreams he does, or struggles with a strong urge to do so. It does not matter which we choose, the feelings are the same. He seeks help….

Abraham: I could not have a son. Then suddenly I could. And Ishmael was here, and then he was gone. And the city of Sodom was in danger, then it was not.

Therapist: All out of control?

Abraham: Yes! All out of my control. I love Ishmael, and now he is gone. I tried to talk to Sarah. I started to try, but when I looked in her eyes, I knew I could say nothing.

Therapist: Isaac is here, though.

Abraham: But I am afraid I will lose him. Just like I lost Ishmael. Somehow, some way, Isaac will not grow up. It is too impossible that he is even here. It is like a dream, a miracle that cannot be.

Therapist: So you tried to kill him.

Abraham: … and then it will be true. He cannot possibly exist.

Therapist: And if you kill him…?

Abraham: It is as if he never was. I can pretend it never happened.

Therapist: And it will be in your control.

And Abraham has an epiphany. He knows why he did not kill his son.

The world is messy. No matter how much we try to grab it by the throat and make it do our will, life wiggles away. I think that the author(s) of this parshah wanted to give their audience some concrete way to deal with this wiggliness. They created an understudy god, who seems to control all. Who bargains over human lives, destroys cities, turns people into salt and asks a man to kill his son.

When the parshah started, Abraham believed that the understudy god was the true God. At the moment when the knife is poised over his son, Abraham remembers all his struggles. He truly understands that life is hard, and that sometimes horrible things happen for no apparent reason. In that moment of staying his knife, Abraham stops blaming the understudy god and truly finds God.

2 comments:

  1. So theatrical! Makes the bible seem almost like a black comedy. ;-)
    Like all mythical writings, the bible tells powerful, larger-than-life stories. Great lessons in there, but I don't think it will ever make "sense" to a modern person. Your understudy God is sort of an unsophisticated, underdeveloped representation of how many view God today. God before s/he got really good at being God maybe. Guess that's why s/he was ONLY an understudy, lol!

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  2. Nice dialogue! We should write a Hollywood screenplay (see my Noah post).

    P.S. I posted some more thoughts about your entry under the comments to my Va-Yera blog.

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