Noah--Family Tree

This parshah reminds me of when my husband and I were first married. We were making the long drive from Florida to Ohio so that I could meet his family. A few people came to our wedding. Everyone else stayed in Ohio, patiently waiting for us to come visit so they could throw a party for us when we got there.

I have 2 uncles, 4 aunts, and 10 cousins. Ten. Four of them hadn't existed to me since I was 5. That is when my grandmother died and my mother pretty much lost contact with her brothers and, subsequently, I never saw or spoke to their sons. Then there is the North Carolina crowd. They are the three cousins on my dad's side. I saw them about once a year. One of them for about an hour, one for maybe 3, and the other was a good friend of my sisters during that visit, so I got in a few days with him every time. My 3 remaining cousins are my mother's twin sister's kids. They are like sisters to me. We were together pretty much all the time. By necessity sometimes, but I like to think we actually liked each other growing up. I know we do now.

My husband has something like 20 aunts and uncles. They each have multiple children; some from multiple marriages. By the time I entered the picture some of his cousins had kids, and I'm pretty sure that at least one of their kids had kids. Clearly, I had a few things to learn on the trip to meet my new husband's family.

The drive from my hometown in Florida to his in Ohio is 16 hours. Brian didn't waste a second of it. He really tried to beat his family tree into my head. He tried so very, very hard. We have been married for 13 years now and I'm still not entirely certain how many aunts and uncles he has, much less his various degrees of cousin. On top of which, I rarely know who is the child of which aunt, uncle, or cousin. Keep in mind that all these people maintain some version of contact with one-another. It boggles the mind that with the sheer numbers involved they have managed to avoid ever dating a relative, accidentally or otherwise. That is to say that the magnitude of his family has not kept them from knowing who each-other are. It fascinates me on so many levels. But I digress.

All of that to say this: I feel nothing when reading the story of Noah, and I get nothing out of it except a few memories centered on the year I spent in Rainbow Girls--a club that required me to dress in formal gowns and go to meetings... boring, boring meetings. Sometimes there were dances, but the boys weren't as cool as my rocker boyfriend, and he wasn't allowed to come. Every night, though--as all good Rainbow Girls did (and probably still do)--I would open my bible to Noah before I went to bed. I feel absolutely nothing when I read this parshah. Nothing other than the vague memory of boredom.. until I get to the begots. At that point I feel muddled, stupid, and sort of miserable. Begots confuse the hell out of me. I just can't follow. Even when I see begots live and in motion, I just don't get it. I can watch begots happen (in a manner of speaking), have reunions with begots, know and sometimes love begots over the course of a 13 year marriage, but I just can't comprehend them if they number more than a handful. I need a chart of some sort so I can work it out. Luckily, I love me some chart-making. You're welcome.

hold ctrl and press + a few times if you can't read it. :)

On a side note: Nehor appears to have married his niece. I'm assuming he did this over his brother's dead body.